THAT is a Bit HARDCORE!
don't you think?
Maybe you should release Chapters 8 & 9 to show where this is going?
I waited an extra day and re-read the story before I responded.
And I still think it is a bit too far into the RAPE PORN GENRE!
Without Chapters 8 & 9 to soften it is hard to …
Empathize with.
A modified scene of the first rape was submitted by a fellow author. It made a reasonable replacement and lowered the graphic level of the scene.
Chapter 8 will be up either later tonight or tomorrow some time.
I too must say that I found the rape scene too graphic...
I have a girlfriend who was raped almost ten years ago, and as far as I can tell, you're VERY spot on with Arden's emotions.(my girlfriend is only just now beginning to open up and talk about it, and she don't think that she'll ever be able to have a 'real' relationship with men) I really hope that bastard gets what he deserves.
Preferably castration with a blunt and rusted fork...
Sorry, but I just HAD to get it out.
(I'm not by nature a violent man, but I'll make an exception to rapists)
Oh, and I just printed out chapter 8. Can't wait to take it home and read it.
I've posted 9 and 10 for follow up.
Chapter 9 deals with the after effect of someone's suicide. I have been in the position of the characters having lost a friend to suicide, literally walking in to the sound of the gun.
I can understand the depression and desire to die that the rape would create. I didn't plan to use rape as the medium to cause Arden's death and release into the afterlife. However the story line progressed in that manner in a logical manner.
It became obvious to me (and others helping with the story line) that historically we (humans) have done this exact kind of thing to our slaves. The only difference is that they were human and not an animal, though they were perceived as such. It made sense that Arden would have to endure this.
Up and until Chapter 9, you will notice that the story has been entirely from Arden's point of view. I had wanted the story to be this way from the beginning, however I was slack and often shifted to follow others.
In upcoming chapters you'll see how Arden's been changed by death as well as how it affects her perceptions. Though there will be one more dark part to the story, it won't be anywhere as bad as chapters 7-9.
In fact, I think you'll find the story has an overall much lighter side to it with Arden's rebirth.
Hikaru
Dang!
I just printed out chapters 9 and 10 without reading them...
Why oh why did I have to check the discussion board...
Talk about spoiler.
Says the Longhaired Viking before going home to a nice cup of tea...
I have read through chapter 10.
OK.
So chapter 7 NEEDS some Explaining like WHAT happened to the Rapist?
And
Why did chapter 7 happen?
With all the hate mail here I find it appropriate for me to say that I liked what happened in chapter 7-10. All of it.
I didn't think it too hardcore or anything. It was real.
I could almost the cruelty as I read. I didn't like it at first but when I look at it now. Wow!
Keep up the good work and don't care what people might say. Your way is the best way.
It was real.
RIGHT!
Sorry I did the Military thing for real. Rape is NOT recreational.
As Nasty as the USA can get Rape is not a tool used.
Murder. Yes. Rape? No.
Quote:Sorry I did the Military thing for real. Rape is NOT recreationa.
Agreed, that's why I put this in the disclaimer.
Quote:This scene is NOT in any way intended to be a yiffy/bondage item. Anyone who feels aroused by it may feel free to remove themselves from the gene pool by any convenient method available
Anyone needs help, I've got plenty of spare ammo.
And if you happen to run out, just whistle. I've got plenty to spare for such a "noble cause".
I don't even mind pulling the trigger...
Jim
Hey!
Leave a couple of those bastards for me...
I think that I might be able to get hold of a M-72 or ten if I get in touch with my buddies from my RNaF days...
And since they punch through 30cm of steel, how many bastards does that equal?
HA!! Methinks you could line up quite an "unfair" number of the varlets, and the single round would, like the Energizer Bunny, just "Keep Going, And Going, And Going..." Ouch!
Jim
Quote:Anyone who feels aroused by it may feel free to remove themselves from the gene pool by any convenient method available
Such "specimens" are already from the *very* shallow end of the gene pool and I'll be overjoyed to supply any needed rounds of .45ACP ball to assist in finishing matters.
Having said that, chapters 7 & 8 came off as quite "true to life" based on what I've heard from survivors and the whole set of chapters 7 - 10 is quite affecting. My compliments.
Cateagle
As one of those survivours I will have to take your word on it since I couldnt read the chapter. And as much as I skimmed was hard enough.
ALthough you guys might want to take a step back. Attemptied murder is a bit extreme.
